See this sinkhole in Missouri? Do NOT put your hand in there

I like to think of myself as brave, but sometimes I’m stupid. (Somewhere I picture my wife saying “Amen!”) So I have to remind myself not to stick my hand in mysterious holes in the ground in Missouri, and that’s especially true this time of year. I’ll explain.

I saw this topic come up today when Yahoo News warned, “Beware of giant spiders.” And they’re not wrong. It’s that time of year in Missouri when a certain species of spider goes out looking for a mate and lives in these holes.

If you poke a stick into this hole, the following will appear.

Over the next few months, Texas brown tarantulas will begin coming out of their holes and looking for a mate in Missouri. Luckily for those of us (like me) who have arachnophobia en masse, this is mostly happening in the southern half of the state. If the Missouri River ever dries up and these spiders can get further north, I’m heading to Canada.

Be aware that if you see a mysterious hole in the ground and stick your hand in out of curiosity, you could be in for an unpleasant and very hairy (and possibly painful) surprise.

The Nightmare fuel is now full.