By Tim Urness, Alexandria, MN
Here it is folks – back by very unpopular request – another list of random fun facts from my brain for your reading eyes. This trend started with 22 facts in 2022 and 23 in 2023. So don’t take these columns for granted – I’m slowly running out of random fun facts about me.
1- I realize it’s basically the same ingredients, just in a different form – I love meatballs, but for some reason I hate meatloaf.
2- Personal pet peeve: When I order a Cherry Coke and the waiter replies, “Sorry, we don’t have Cherry Coke, but we have Dr Pepper instead.” Um, those two aren’t even on the same flavor planet.
3. I know nothing about cars, guns, or how to change the oil in my car. And for those of you who remember my column from two years ago, I still CANNOT back up with a trailer.
4- One of my mother’s most infamous and simple recipes that she would make several times a year was to pour water to the brim of a ketchup bottle. How come no loving adult has ever called child services on my behalf?!
5 – I will buy every Butterfinger candy bar from the kids trick or treating on Halloween on November 1st.
6- Never in my life have I been so tired when I went to bed at 10pm as I used to be when I went to bed at around 1.30pm.
7- The bottom of an ice cream cone. You know that grate thing that gets stuck in your teeth? No thanks.
8 – I can write upside down.
9- Have you ever been at a house party and yelled, “Hey Alexa, set the alarm for 3am with rap music?” OK, me neither.
10- Peutz-Jeghers Syndrome – google it. I have it. Also, I’ve never met anyone who has it (except my son Christian), so if you have it or know someone who has it, let me know!
11-When my children drink water during the day, they use a new cup each time. However, I remember my grandmother using the same yellow plastic cup and washing it about every three or four years.
12 – I don’t mean to brag, but people tell me I have a very nice arch.
13 – I rarely get pimples on my face like I did in the good old days of middle school, but when one does appear every two years or so, it brings with it all its little pimple friends.
14 – According to my wife, I wash my hands too thoroughly and therefore splash water everywhere.
15- I only know two people who hate campfires. Unfortunately, I’m married to one of them and the son of the other.
16 – I like playing the game from the 80’s where you aggressively turn the radio tuner and try to find a specific station over 100.
17- When I dial an 800 number, I don’t really need to listen closely because the options might have changed. Either a) I’ve never called there before or b) if I had, I wouldn’t remember what pressing 4 does anyway!
18 – Mechanical pencils should be banned in all 50 states and Puerto Rico.
19 – I feel like a genius when I watch Jeopardy. Celebrity Jeopardy to be precise.
20 – Before I die, I want to know why the walk from the mall hallway to the nearest bathroom is the longest walk ever.
21 – I’m 46 and can finally be considered an adult. I just threw all the wire hangers out of my closet.
22 – My kids are convinced I am the only person in Douglas County who buys GRAPE NUTS cereal.
23 – My latest invention – a hotel pillow that is exactly the size of 1.5 pillows – one pillow is not thick enough (feels like the thickness of a flour tortilla) and two pillows somehow feel way too thick (like my nose is about to hit the sprinkler system on the ceiling).
24 – I’ve been watching SNL since I was 12 and I always skipped the music part of the show.
There you have it, folks.
Look out for next year’s column, “25 Annoying Things About Living/Working with Tim Urness.”
Be nice to people – even the ones who drink Dr. Pepper and use mechanical pencils, I guess.
Tim Urness is actively involved in service groups in the Alexandria area. “In the Know” is a rotating column written by community leaders from the Douglas County area.
