You just have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on the plow, and do it now.” George Lucas
Yesterday I was at the store. The clerk checking out my groceries looked at me like everyone does and said, “How are you today, ma’am?” It had been a tough day. I sighed deeply and said, “I’m getting by, a little slow, but that’s okay.” He paused, looked me in the eyes and said, “I can totally relate.” In that moment I felt the presence of a soul mate.
When I was little, I loved fairy tales
As a child, I believed in fairy tales. In fact, from a young age, I was obsessed with the story of Darcy and Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice. Although it did not exactly fall into the fairy tale category, it was a dream of sorts. A girl of little fortune had captured the heart of the brooding Mr. Darcy. He was a man of much land and money. Their union would not be recommended by anyone in their society, yet the witty Elizabeth captured his heart with great force.
Mr. Darcy was my dream of a fairy tale
Mr. Darcy deigned to propose marriage to the modest Elizabeth despite her social standing and she rejected him! That was really an impertinence. As the story progresses, the hard shell of Mr. Darcy’s cold character begins to crumble and Elizabeth’s heart begins to thaw for Mr. Darcy. Add a little plot and voilà! A fairy tale that has stood the test of time. I have wanted this fairy tale for quite a long time.
Unfortunately, fairy tales are just fairy tales
That’s the thing about fairy tales: they are just that. A bit of escapism to help us cope with life and all that comes with it. In the US, we have spent weeks rolling our eyes and covering our ears to listen to the promises of politicians who, well, I personally think are all a bit nefarious. Do I pray for them? Yes. Do I like them? No. They are not the stuff fairy tales are made of.
There are times when we can only put one foot in front of the other
With the impending deployment of another of my children, I feel like I’m just putting one foot in front of the other. Will he be OK? Will I be OK? His father and I will feel his absence keenly. He’s always there to help us or make us laugh. In a way, it breaks my heart to see him inevitably move on and live his adult life. Why can’t I be independent and rich and just provide for my whole family? Why? That would be another fairytale in my life.
We must get used to counting our blessings
The answer is that life is not a fairy tale. However, we can find comfort in counting the blessings that life offers us every day. When I think about the lives of Jesus and his disciples, they didn’t have nearly as many comforts as we do in this life. They couldn’t just grab a small screen and access the world at the touch of a button, and yet they were content.
How did others stay happy in the past?
How did they do it? They were content with the promises of God. They could see the blessings that were being given to them in the moment, and they had the blessings of eternity ahead of them. I often think that with so much at our fingertips, we lose a little of our humanity. Am I saying that we are terrible people? No. Rather, I think we could use a little less screen time and a little more time meditating.
Look around and find your blessing
As I sit here at home, surrounded by my husband, sons, their friends and others, I can’t help but crack a little smile. This time helps me put one foot in front of the other when it feels a little lonely. When I hear these people shouting from the rafters that they are the answer for all of humanity (politicians), I can remember family, faith, music, good food and peace of mind trump those loud voices.
If you think back to the time of Jane Austen, the author of Pride and Prejudice, they had a lot of time for themselves. No wonder young girls made up stories about a handsome gentleman who swept them off their feet. They had time to dream. They had time to feel the wind on their faces and the grass beneath their feet. They had enough time to put one foot in front of the other.
How do we find our footing in this space and time?
There are a number of ways to do this conscious time. One of those tasks is to make a list. As an adult, I decided to go to therapy. I had to have a son in the field and it was pretty hard on my heart and soul. I chose unhealthy coping mechanisms to get through it. I ate too much, drank too much wine. I wallowed in grief. It was not good at all. When I confided this to my therapist, she said a good way to deal with my son’s departure was to make a list of things I could do to make a positive impact in my life.
Make a list. You don’t have to do everything, but it’s there for you if you fall into the trap. I don’t make lists, my husband would stand up and say “Amen!” I’m an artist who acts spontaneously. I like to flit from one thing to the next. Making a list gives you intention and direction and helps you become a better person. If you can’t physically write it down, do it in your head. Get your mind in a better state.
Fairy tales have their place
Is it OK to read fairy tales? Absolutely. But put your feet on solid ground. Build your hope in God. After all, the hymn says, “My hope is founded on nothing less than the blood and righteousness of Jesus. I dare not trust the sweetest framework, but rely wholly on the name of Jesus. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is quicksand. All other ground is quicksand. Have that firm footing lest your feet sink in.
Stay in your positive Pensées (Thoughts)
One of the reasons why I called my column “Positive” Pensées had the simple purpose of keeping my thoughts, my pensées, in a better space. I hoped that with this humanity of thought, I could help others find their way to a better state of mind. That’s where our journey begins, right between our ears. There may be days when you can only put one foot in front of the other, and that’s okay, just keep going. Better days will come.
