We all know at least one person in our lives who is constantly late—but time-conscious TikTokers may have a—albeit controversial—solution.
One of the creatives revealed in a recent video shared online, which has now been viewed over 11 million times, that her friends had started lying to her about the reservation times to ensure that she would arrive on time and not half an hour late.
“If you’re my best friends who just made a reservation for 8:30 and told me 8:00, well played,” the unnamed TikTokker said in the clip.
When she arrived at the restaurant at 8:22 p.m., she asked for the table she thought her friend had reserved for 8:00 p.m. She was told that she was actually the “first here” and not the last.
While the TikToker obviously found her friends’ solution to her chronic lateness funny, her behavior – and that of her friends – sparked a heated debate in the comments section.
“I just wouldn’t invite you anymore. People who are always late get on my nerves,” complained one viewer.
“I think it’s just a matter of respect to show up on time when someone is planning something,” said another sarcastically.
“How can you keep your job if you’re so late?” wrote another, while others called latecomers disrespectful.
“It’s not fun being late all the time,” someone else chimed in. “I just don’t invite people who are always late anymore.”
“From the friend who once started lying about his arrival time: the next step is *forgetting* to invite you,” commented another.
Etiquette expert Lisa Grotts told USA Today that friends should talk about and agree on what is considered “on time,” as everyone has a different sense of politeness. Perhaps they grew up in a household where it was acceptable to arrive within a 10-minute window, while others adhere to the mantra “early is on time.”
However, if you are consistently and shamelessly late, you may face more serious consequences than being lied to about the time of your table reservation.
“If you’re late, it means that your time is more important than everyone else’s,” Grotts explained. “That’s not true. If you act like that, you might end up on the party’s guest list.”
Other TikTokers, however, thought that neither the lies nor the lateness were so bad, and admitted that they – and their friends – are often late.
“Friends help you,” argued one person. “I’m the deceased friend and I work on it a lot. Often it’s stress from too many commitments/restrictions. Never intentional, but a fixable habit.”
“Oh, I always do this for my deceased friend,” wrote another. “I still love her though!”
“Growing up doesn’t mean getting mad at friends for accommodating your notoriously late friend,” commented another, although users argued that now that the author is privy to the lie, she might be even late next time.
However, such “accommodations” (i.e. lies) may not be the best strategy, advised Brad Fulton, associate professor of management and social policy at Indiana University-Bloomington. He told USA Today that this is “largely because lies often beget more lies.”
“Consider whether any of the friends would be upset if they found out that the dinner party planner communicated differently with each guest,” Taya Cohen, a professor of organizational behavior and business ethics at Carnegie Mellon University, told USA Today.
While some online viewers advocated alerting friends to their chronic tardiness, Fulton said doing so might be more work than good.
“If a person confronts a friend about their chromosomal unpunctuality, the friend might accuse the person of being control-obsessed and argue that punctuality is a cultural value, not a universal value,” he said.
