Everyone experiences feelings of loneliness from time to time, but few – whether 80 or 18 – are aware of how damaging prolonged loneliness can be to their mental and physical health.
While U.S. Health Secretary Dr. Vivek Murthy made headlines last year when he said older adults are among those systematically more at risk of social isolation, other research shows it’s not just the elderly. All generations are feeling the effects of what Murthy and others call a “loneliness epidemic.”
But Murthy’s recommendation struck a chord, in part because he points out that isolation of older people alone is responsible for an estimated $6.7 billion in annual Medicare spending overruns.
Factors such as retirement, loss of loved ones, health problems, and limited access to transportation and technology can cause the social circles of an ageing population to shrink, especially in rural areas.
Although loneliness seems to be a difficult problem, the solution may simply lie in improving access to social opportunities – for example, by providing older people with a place outside the home where they can meet informally, socialise with like-minded people or attend regular neighbourhood meetings – and by promoting connections between generations.
Recently, some organizations have even begun to promote connections between generations, as increasing loneliness among young people becomes more apparent.
“This experience offers something that touches everyone,” says Gloria DiFulvio, lecturer and associate dean for student affairs at the School of Public Health and Health Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She points out that there are countless factors that “make people feel like they are not part of a larger group.”
After reading Murthy’s 2020 book, “Together,” on the topic, DiFulvio set out to develop a course to educate students about the risks of loneliness and how to combat it. The result was a course launched in fall 2021 called “The Epidemic of Loneliness,” which includes an intergenerational storytelling project in collaboration with Northampton Neighbors. The plan was to teach students how to build meaningful connections while also providing opportunities for elders in the community to connect.
What DiFulvio didn’t expect was the depth of the story exchange between students and elders, which revealed how much both generations have to offer each other.
“It’s really helped a lot of people realize the importance of shared values and interests,” DiFulvio said. “Everyone has unique stories they want to tell.”
Diane Porcella, executive director of Northampton Neighbors, said she and DiFulvio quickly realized that the students were often just as lonely as the older adults they were paired with. That’s a finding that more and more researchers and organizations are coming to. While the effects of chronic loneliness become more pronounced as people age – such as increased risk of Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, self-harm, heart disease and stroke – Murthy’s recommendation suggests that the effects compound over the course of a lifetime and no one is exempt.
“They didn’t just do this for the elderly,” Porcella said. “This was a mutually rewarding exchange of give and take.”
Even after completing the course, the connections between the students and Northampton Neighbors members remained strong. Porcella noted that Northampton Neighbors is looking to engage more intergenerationally following the growing popularity of the course, which benefits both groups.
This is no surprise to Rebecca Ready, an associate professor at the University of Massachusetts Amherst who studies emotion regulation and healthy aging and challenges “negative perceptions of aging.”
“People of all ages experience loneliness, and perhaps the differences between age groups are not as great as we think,” Ready said. “Older adults are not more depressed than young people. In fact, my data suggest the opposite.”
Ready says recent research suggests that although older people have smaller social circles, they are not necessarily lonelier than the rest of the population. They may value a smaller number of more fulfilling relationships rather than a wide range of more superficial ones.
This is mainly because loneliness is a very subjective experience. Both Ready and DiFulvio emphasized the differences between loneliness, isolation and being alone.
Loneliness can be healthy because it is the kind of “alone time” that people seek as a respite from social obligations. Social isolation means that you objectively have few relationships or social contacts, but that does not necessarily mean that you are lonely. Rather, loneliness means that your social goals or ideas of an ideal social life are not being met. You are lonely when you cannot find ways to connect with others in the way you want, or as often as you want.
“You can be in a room full of people and feel lonely,” DiFulvio said. “You can also be alone and not feel lonely.”
Ready acknowledged, however, that there are barriers to achieving social goals as we age, as old age represents a “major transition.” Entering retirement, losing a spouse, mobility issues or giving up a driver’s license are common reasons why older adults may feel excluded from social opportunities. Porcella said she encounters many older adults who describe themselves as “solo-agers” because they don’t have close family members or friends they can rely on.
Young people, on the other hand, have many social opportunities at school, work and social media, but struggle to make meaningful connections. In both cases, the effects of loneliness are equally strong.
Sandra Harris, State President of AARP Massachusetts and member of the Coalition to Build Community and End Loneliness in MA, also quickly realized in her work that young people suffer greatly from loneliness and that give and take between generations is an excellent way to build strong communities.
“We’ve learned that it’s not just older adults. Loneliness doesn’t discriminate,” Harris said. “We’ve really had to broaden our perspective in the last few years.”
The coalition now has an Intergenerational Subcommittee that focuses on providing resources for the development of intergenerational programs and highlighting successful programs to inspire communities to start their own programs.
Another subcommittee within the coalition is addressing bridging the digital divide that older populations often face in seeking connections and providing guidance to communities on how to include older people in technology planning.
“Some communities still don’t have internet,” said Lynne Feldman, director of community services at LifePath, a Greenfield-based senior living agency. “Some older people have computers and smartphones, but don’t know how to use them.”
But young people know how to use it. By pairing young people with older people for technology mentoring, organizations have found a way to foster intergenerational connection while contributing to greater online access across the community.
Many organizations in Western Massachusetts and beyond, including the Northampton Senior Center, have invited students to volunteer for one-on-one sessions to teach older adults how to use the technology available to them.
Sharing generational knowledge in this way can not only combat loneliness and teach people new skills, but it can also help people who identify with marginalized groups feel more seen and hopeful. Feldman has experienced the benefits of this type of sharing firsthand through LifePath’s Rainbow Elders group, which brings together young and old members of the LGBTQ+ community.
“LGBT youth are at greater risk for mental health issues and social isolation,” Feldman said. But through Rainbow Elders, they can talk to others who “have been through the same things they have.” Plus, the older adults can “see some of the barriers that younger people are breaking through.”
Porcella has learned that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to combat loneliness, she says. Rather, it’s about providing people with the space and tools to engage in the community in the ways that interest them, whether that’s through books, hiking, food or something else.
On September 21, Northampton Neighbors will host its third annual DoozyDo parade, which the group describes as “a community celebration.” The parade is designed to not only raise awareness of the organization, but also bring together community members of all generations and backgrounds.
Later in the month, on September 28, the nation will celebrate Good Neighbor Day, a day dedicated to “building a sense of community” and “encouraging people to go out and talk to their neighbors,” according to Harris.
Ruth Ever, program director at Trauma Informed Hampshire County, has been thinking about local activities for Good Neighbor Day, including “a scavenger hunt with prompts that encourage bonding” and the opportunity to nominate a great neighbor for an award.
The great thing about Good Neighbor Day, for Ever, is that it allows us to “become part of something bigger” but “doesn’t require a lot of resources.”
“It’s about kindness in everyday life,” she said. “Kindness in everyday life makes life worth living.”
The DoozyDo Parade and Good Neighbor Day are just two examples of how communities can combat loneliness by providing opportunities for connection.
When it comes to an epidemic as nebulous and complex as loneliness, Porcella said there is “no better answer to this problem than to create more opportunities to connect.”
Alexa Lewis can be reached at [email protected].
