When do children get hungry after school?
Researchers have determined the exact time when children feel hungry: around 3:36 p.m.
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When I think of all the extracurricular activities my sister and I participated in as children—choir practice, ballet rehearsals, piano lessons, and soccer—I wonder how my mother managed it all.
As a divorced, single mother who worked full-time, I know it wasn’t easy. But I also know that I didn’t appreciate how much juggling she was doing, at least not until I became a mother of three school-age children myself. Of course, there were plenty of after-school soccer games, field trips, or other school events that she couldn’t go to because she had patients to treat at work.
But my sister and I remained incredibly busy and engaged.
What made the difference? That we had grandparents to help. When we had choir practice at church after school, it was my grandfather who drove the church bus to pick up the children and take them to practice, including his granddaughters. When I had ballet lessons in the afternoon, it was my grandmother who took me there and often stopped by to get an ice cream cone as a treat before practice – the same was true for piano lessons or soccer.
Sometimes we had babysitters to drive us there, but most of the time it was Grandma or Grandpa who helped us get to our destination.
What wouldn’t I give to have this kind of help now as a parent.
My husband and I are lucky to have just the two of us to organize our children’s activities. During the school year, we often have a babysitter who acts as a chauffeur and takes our children where they need to go after school. A babysitter who has become like a member of the family in many ways.
But even then, sometimes that’s not enough. Before we had three kids, we probably didn’t consider that we’d be outnumbered. And now, there are days when two kids have sports practice and our youngest has another activity or class, and my husband and I are busy at work.
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Last week, when our regular babysitter had not yet returned to town for college and all the other babysitters we knew were busy with the fraternity, it took a tremendous amount of coordination and help. My son was able to ride home from football practice with another mom. Our oldest daughter was able to stay at her after-school practice until we got off work.
But there was no one to take our third child to art class. I called everyone I knew, even asked babysitters to ask their friends, and asked my friends whose daughters were college age. But we had no luck.
In desperation, I called my mom who lives 2.5 hours away. What I wouldn’t give to have more help nearby. Luckily, while my mom couldn’t drive into town, one of her long-time friends lives just a mile away and she also has grandchildren who live in our neighborhood. My mom’s good friend helped with transportation and was the substitute “grandmother” for the afternoon. I’m so thankful for people like her who don’t mind being needed.
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When they say it takes a village to raise a child, it’s true. And that’s even more true the more children you have and the older they get. And sometimes the village is a team of grandparents, neighbors, other parents, or babysitters.
Now I’m just counting the months until my oldest child gets his driver’s license in the spring. Then at least we’ll have another driver in the family.
Lydia Seabol Avant writes The Mom Stop for The Tuscaloosa News. You can reach her at [email protected].
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