KUTV — The following information was submitted by Sunshine and Munchkinz.
Shani Ogden of Sunshine and Munchkins came in the studio to talk with Kari Hawker-Diaz about unique conversation starters with your kids this school year.
Whether children are in school or participating in other extracurricular activities, I think it’s fair to say that we see our children much less each day during the school year, so it’s important that we make conscious use of the time we do spend with them. Connecting with children after school can be as simple as changing the questions you ask them.
How many times have you had your kids come home from school and the first question you ask is, “How was school?” You get an answer like “good,” “great,” or “okay” before your child goes to get a snack (why are they always so hungry??) or heads to their room to relax. You’re left unsatisfied and wanting more. As parents, we want to know what’s going on in our kids’ lives, so why is this question a problem?
Think of it this way: Our kids have just come home from a long day of juggling lots of different subjects, talking with teachers and friends, and preparing for homework. Their brains are full! We’re basically asking them to tell us everything about their day, which can be overwhelming. So when we ask a general question like “How was school?” we often get a general answer.
If we want more concrete answers from our kids, we need to ask better, more concrete questions. This takes effort on our part, and we’re probably tired after a long day! I’ve put together some great resources for parents to help us connect with our kids. I’ve got a list of 35 questions to ask instead of “How was school?” and 10 fun conversation starters.
Here are some example questions:
- Who did you sit with at lunch?
- What made you smile today?
- What didn’t go as you had hoped?
- Who did you help today?
Examples of conversation starters:
- 2 Truths and a Lie: Tell two things that happened to you that day and one that didn’t happen, then ask them to do the same.
- Chocolate, Lemon, Banana: What kind of chocolates (the good), lemons (the not so good) and bananas (the crazy things) happened to you today?
- Scale of 1-10: “How would you rate your day on a scale of 1-10 and why?” You can also make the scale whatever you want, e.g. from 1-274.
Why are these questions/conversation starters helpful? They give our children time to reflect and focus on a specific part of their day. Children’s brains are still growing and developing. Having an adult they can trust and connect with can help them work through problems, see the positive, and find areas where they can improve.
What age group are these questions/conversation starters appropriate for? Many are geared toward elementary and middle school-aged children. But that doesn’t mean you can’t ask similar questions to your middle and high school students.
When is a good time to ask these questions? It depends on your own situation. For example, my kids ride the bus, so I see them when they walk in the door. Other families pick up their kids directly from school or carpool. This opportunity to connect doesn’t have to be right after school to make a difference. You can do it over dinner or in the car on the way to an extracurricular activity. The important thing is that you make the effort to build a connection with your kids.
If you would like printable copies of these questions and conversation starters, you can fill out the form on this page (subscribepage.io/connection) to download the files for free.
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