Raising kids is a wild journey—full of love, laughter, and, let’s face it, a lot of chaos. Between running them to school and trying to remember what sleep feels like, parents rarely get a chance to rest.
But when they do, they love sharing their little ones’ antics with the world. And what better place to do that than on X?
If you are a regular guest at Bored Pandayou know that every month we celebrate the funniest and most relatable tweets about parenting. But this time we’ve really gone all out and compiled the tweets we’ve featured previously into the ultimate “Best Ever” edition. Enjoy!
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Many parents will tell you that their children’s smiles are worth all the hard work. But even these precious moments cannot make you forget the very real burden of effort that comes with raising your children. Sometimes it can be overwhelming and lead to what is commonly known as parental burnout. In fact, a staggering 66% of parents report this exhaustion, and one study found that parents in Western countries are among the most affected in the world.
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Although parental burnout may not be found in medical records, psychologists consider it to be a specific form of burnout—a work-related phenomenon that is now recognized as a syndrome by the World Health Organization.
“Like burnout, parental burnout is defined as physical, emotional and mental exhaustion due to the ongoing demands of childcare,” says Dr. Jennifer Yen, a psychiatrist at UTHealth Houston.
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Parenting is inherently demanding, so it’s not always easy to distinguish between normal stress and burnout. Dr. Yen suggests paying attention to signs like fatigue, irritability, changes in sleep, appetite, mood, or even physical pain. What distinguishes parental burnout is the intensity of these symptoms and how much they interfere with daily life.
“It’s a state where you give and give and give and give – until you’re completely empty,” describes Kate Kripke, clinical social worker and founder of the Postpartum Wellness Center in Boulder, Colorado.
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Dr. Yen also points out some specific warning signs of parental burnout, such as feeling angry or resentful about caring for children and beginning to withdraw from them, either physically or emotionally. Some parents may even feel trapped or fantasize about leaving them, she adds.
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Because parental burnout can be so damaging, it’s crucial for them to take breaks. “Taking time off is especially important for moms and dads,” says Stuart Lustig, PhD, child psychiatrist and national medical director for behavioral health at Evernorth. “Much of a parent’s day revolves around caring for someone else, and the tasks can be physically and emotionally draining. Breaks help parents recharge, or, to use an analogy, refill their cups.”
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Jeff Temple, a psychologist and director of the Center for Violence Prevention at the University of Texas Medical Branch, explains: Giving yourself a break is like putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others.
“If you run out of oxygen, you’re useless to your fellow travelers,” he says. “The same goes for parenting. If you don’t take care of yourself, you’re a less effective parent and more prone to burnout and tantrums.”
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Parents who take a moment to distance themselves often find that it helps them reconnect with themselves, as was the case for Jasmine Jaksic. She had been juggling work, raising a child, and maintaining her relationship with her husband during the pandemic. Eventually, she decided to take a spontaneous trip to Amsterdam with a friend and leave her husband in charge of the child.
“Although it was a short trip, it gave me a glimpse into my relaxed, goofy self that had been lost in the pandemic and the maelstrom of parenthood,” she says. “I came back with a renewed interest in keeping that part of me alive. It was also a great opportunity for my son to bond with his dad and do things his way.”
“My husband is now planning a trip of his own to visit his friends and family,” she adds. “After all, there is still hope for us that one day we will be able to have a long and thought-provoking conversation that doesn’t involve taking out the trash or doing laundry.”
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However, parents don’t necessarily have to organize a trip to another country to prevent or manage burnout. It can be much easier and more doable.
“A mental health break is different for everyone,” says Lustig. “One person may need to get out of the house and go for a walk outside. Another may just need to go into another room and meditate or listen to relaxing music.”
“The focus should be less on what, when and how long the activity is and more on how you feel during or after the activity,” he continues. “Do you feel refreshed and rejuvenated? Happier and more energized? If so, consider it a time out for your mental health. If not, try something different next time. Everyone has different needs, so it’s important to understand what works best for you individually.”
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In practice, Temple advises parents to take at least one mental health timeout each day — “even if it’s just 30 minutes,” he says. The duration and frequency, Temple says, depend on factors such as individual characteristics, the number of children, their temperament, available support systems and other life stressors.
Temple also suggests parents “go out with their partner at least twice a month, without the kids.” If necessary, he recommends “taking advantage of extended support networks or trading babysitting duties with other parents.”
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But on the days when it seems impossible to find even half an hour, a few minutes can still provide a much-needed reset. “Small breaks throughout the day can be helpful, especially for busy parents,” says Lustig.
“Five-minute meditations can help reset the day and give your mental health a break. Spending a few minutes outside in the sunlight, drinking a cup of coffee, or journaling can also help. Setting a timer and focusing on your breathing for a minute or two can help boost creativity and concentration.”
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And don’t underestimate your children – they will probably understand your need for some time alone if you explain it to them, and may even support you in their own way.
“Explain to your children why mental health time is important to you,” Lustig encourages. “If your children, especially adolescents or teens, see you taking time for themselves and understanding the importance of mental health, they are likely to model that behavior as they get older.”
Parental burnout is no fun, so take care of yourself—you deserve it.
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