Maria Kirkeland tried to lose weight for over ten years, but always ended up over-restricting, binge-eating, and gaining even more weight.
It was only when the 37-year-old from near Oslo in Norway learned about calories, protein and strength training that she finally began to lose weight sustainably.
Kirkeland lost 71 kilograms in two years and, she told Business Insider, she never felt hungry.
She attributes this mainly to two strategies: counting calories, which prevented her from undereating, and consuming plenty of protein to stay full.
The rise of weight loss drugs has begun to change perceptions. More and more people understand that willpower alone is not enough to maintain a healthy weight. Kirkeland lost weight without medication, but it took a lot of work on her mindset.
A cycle of binge eating and restriction
Kirkeland said she was bullied as a child because she was a bit chubby, so at age 12 she began eating as little as possible – Kirkeland lost weight and her menstrual cycle was disrupted.
It was so bad that her parents suggested sending her away to get help, which sparked an immediate change in Kirkeland.
From that point on, Kirkeland’s weight began to gain.
“I didn’t know how to deal with the feelings I was having around the bullying and the negative thoughts,” Kirkeland said. “So I sought comfort in food instead, and that’s when I started eating in secret.”
Maria Kirkeland said she now experiences the privilege of being thin. Mary Kirkeland
Kirkeland said her weight gradually increased until her mid-twenties, but worsened with the COVID-19 pandemic.
“I just lost it. I was very depressed,” she said. “I was very isolated and I think that led to me developing a terrible relationship with food, eating very poorly and not leaving the house.”
Kirkeland had tried many times to lose weight but found herself in a cycle of bingeing and dieting, she said. She tried cutting out foods she considered “bad” and eating as little as possible, but found that was unsustainable and ended up overeating the foods she was cutting out.
“I was eating a lot of snacks, ice cream, chocolate and very high-calorie food and I felt terrible afterward,” she said. “Then I said, ‘I’m going on a diet. I’m not going to eat any more ice cream. I’m never going to eat chocolate again. I’m going to lose weight.’ And that went on for about a couple of days and then you crashed.”
Tip 1: Counting calories was educational
In July 2022, Kirkeland decided to lose weight again, but in a different way. She downloaded TikTok and sought advice from qualified weight loss coaches.
“The common denominator in everything they said was: Don’t be perfect, just be consistent,” Kirkeland said.
Knowing that a calorie deficit was the only way to lose weight, Kirkeland decided to try calorie counting.
“I was very afraid of going back to my old way of thinking,” she said, referring to her youth when she ate so little. But Kirkeland decided to try counting calories in a healthy way – and she succeeded.
Even though you don’t need to count calories to lose weight, calories always count. For some people, counting calories can be an unhealthy obsession and therefore isn’t suitable for everyone. For others, however, it can be a useful tool.
Kirkeland has a mathematical mind and enjoyed learning about the nutritional content of different foods. It took the guesswork out of how to lose weight and helped her learn how much she could eat without losing weight, she said.
“Before, when I was trying to lose weight, I would guess more and I think that caused me to undereat, which then caused me to collapse because I was so hungry,” she said.
Counting calories helped Kirkeland continue to feel full, even as she lowered her goal as her weight loss continued.
“I was never really hungry, which was nice, and I still lost weight,” she said.
She was not too restrictive
Although Kirkeland enjoyed counting calories, she was not compulsive about it and would take breaks on holidays like Christmas or while on vacation, she said.
At first, Kirkeland didn’t really change her diet, but over time she began to incorporate more nutrient-dense foods into her diet and focus on protein.
Kirkeland said she now eats more vegetables, fish and lean meats than she used to. She drinks more water, cooks at home more often and eats fewer processed foods.
However, she has not completely eliminated any foods from her diet.
“I have a huge sweet tooth and allow myself to enjoy things in moderation,” she said.
Tip 2: Protein and strength training
Kirkeland began strength training in hopes of building muscle mass. She made sure to eat plenty of protein because it is filling, helps muscles recover and grow after exercise, and helps burn fat instead of muscle when in a calorie deficit.
Kirkeland had always done cardio before, but she knew strength training was important. She started with bodyweight exercises once a week and worked up from there.
“I’ve become more comfortable in the gym and have added weights,” Kirkeland said. “Over the last 12 months, I’ve really focused on getting stronger, deadlifting and challenging myself.”
Getting stronger also gave Kirkeland a mental boost.
“I saw that I could push myself and do things that had been difficult for me before. It gave me great joy and a sense of accomplishment,” she said.
Kirkeland is now treated differently
Changing her mindset about food didn’t happen overnight, and Kirkeland said she still has to fight the voice of diet culture in her head that makes her feel guilty about food.
She focuses on building healthy habits, so she tries not to panic if her weight fluctuates some days.
Kirkeland would like to lose some more weight, but she doesn’t want to lose too much, so she’s asked her boyfriend and friends to speak up if she gets stuck.
Kirkeland notices that she has been treated differently since she lost weight.
“People are definitely nicer when you’re thinner. It’s sad when you think about it, but the privilege of being thin is a very real thing,” she said.
Overall, Kirkeland says she feels much happier and more confident after losing weight. Her weight no longer holds her back and she finally went ziplining after years of being afraid of it.
“I feel freer. And I’m not so afraid to try new things,” she said.
