Yes, I read it in Register – our great new vice presidential candidate Tim Walz is coming to Newport Beach this Tuesday – not sure when and where to register. I certainly wouldn’t mind going, but I don’t know, I make a lot more money these days than our trolls seem to think, but I’d have to save up $1000. Unless Wylie Aitken (one of the organizers, who is always kind to me) lets me come as a journalist.
However, I may have to miss the next Anaheim City Council meeting and won’t be able to give his daughter advice on rent control (story to follow tomorrow).
I feel pretty good about this guy not only helping to defeat the Rotting Yam (and HIS running mate) Vladimir Futon), but also “a heartbeat away from the presidency.” But I’m going to freak out if I hear one more made-up anecdote about how damn folksy the governor of Minnesota is. I mean, what’s next?
- He’s the guy who would attack you on the street, change your oil filter, and then tell you you need more Gatorade.
- He’s the kind of person who will perform emergency colectomy on your dog, wipe his hands on his apron, and offer you a barbecue.
- He’s the type of guy who will corner you at Harbor Freight, tell you what ball hammer you need and why, and then throw a football at your mother’s head.
But that’s enough now! I mean, isn’t it enough that he explained Bruce Springsteen Day in Minnesota? Obviously this rolling guy was born to run!
Of course, questions remain unanswered. Should I compose a “Harris Waltz,” for example? And should it include lyrics?
With such profound thoughts in mind, I forgot to turn off the TV today when “The Rev” Al Sharpton’s show started – he always gets on my nerves. But I was glad I didn’t – one of his guests was former pro wrestler AND Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura, formerly known as “The Body.” The fiercely independent guy is supporting the Democrats for the first time in living memory because he thinks so highly of Tim Walz (and so little of Trump).
One of the things that first impressed Jesse about Tim was that when Tim was elected governor, he asked to meet with Jesse to learn all about the job and what Jesse thought Minnesota needed. None of Jesse’s other successors (Republican Dayton and Democrat Pawlenty) paid the quirky independent the slightest attention. And Jesse thinks Tim did a great job.
Also, as you may know, Jesse was a Navy Seal before becoming a professional wrestler, and he expertly debunked the current Swiftboat affair against Tim (who, of course, retired from the Army National Guard and announced his run for Congress MONTHS before he knew his company would be sent to Iraq). We’ve heard all this before – Jesse went even further, angrily reminding us what a bullshit war Bush/Cheney’s Operation Iraqi Fiefdom was, and that the National Guard should never have been called up if Bush hadn’t made the countless and disastrous mistakes.
But the funniest thing was when Reverend Al confronted the dim-witted Hulk Hogan who put on a silly show at Trump’s convention. The hatred between the Hulk and the Body runs deep. We lucky viewers learned that Jesse had tried to TRAIN professional wrestlers to become UNION AGENTS and “then HOGAN BETRAYED ME TO VINCE MCMAHON (CEO of WWE) AND I LOST MY JOB!” (I’ll see if I can find a link to that interview.)
There you have it. HULK HOGAN IS A RAT AND A STRIP AND NOW A TRUMPY. They have the Hulk and Kid Rock. We have Jesse Ventura and the Boss. Let the game begin. See you on Tuesday SOMEWHERE.
OPEN THE THREAD NOW. YOU KNOW HOW IT WORKS. GO!
