(Annie Lane is off this week. The following column was published in 2021.)
Dear Annie:
I have a friend who spent many years in an emotionally abusive relationship that fits the description of “sad grandma.” What I have observed with my friend’s children is that they have learned to treat their mother the same way they treated their father.
They watched for years as she put his needs and demands first in her entire life. By putting him first, she taught her own children to put them last.
My friend is now working very hard to change her relationship with her children and I hope “sad grandma” can too. Remember: If you always put others first, you are teaching them to put you last. – Fellow mom
Dear fellow mother:
Thank you for your letter. You raise such an important point that more is taught than transmitted. The Gift, a book by Edith Eger, highlights this very important lesson.
How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner? is available now! Annie Lane’s second anthology – featuring popular columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation – is available in paperback and e-book. For more information, visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com. Send your questions to Annie Lane at [email protected].
