USA – As citizens wonder what Vice President Kamala Harris would do differently than her current administration, Harris announced she would reveal her policy positions as soon as the polls showed her.
“I have a detailed vision and plan for how I want to lead America into the future, and I’ll tell you what that looks like as soon as the pollsters tell me what it is,” Harris said. “What I can tell you so far is that I’m in favor of not taxing waiter tips, because I’ve already seen how Trump has done in the polls on that.”
According to sources, the campaign has asked that the media and everyone on the planet please ignore everything Kamala has said so far in her life and wait for the new political platform. “Nothing Kamala has done or claimed to believe in the past should be taken as an indication of what she will actually do or what she actually believes,” said campaign aide Sheila Marks. “We would appreciate it if everyone would pretend the last two decades of her life didn’t exist and just wait patiently for the poll results so we can tell you what she believes today.”
Unfortunately, at the time of publication, Harris had received conflicting poll data from various states and declared that her policy toward Israel was to “nuke Gaza until every terrorist has met Allah” and also to “push those filthy Jewish colonialists into the sea.”
Watch how a DEI consultant magically transforms a video game into… well, something entirely different.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more uplifting DEI videos!
