Sandra Bullock says: “Don’t be afraid to turn 60”

RELATED: Former NFL player with ALS types his ‘vulnerable’ memoir through his eyes: A ‘physical and emotional toll’ A beautiful and unvarnished Bullock, addressing Kotb from a serene setting that appeared to be her home, told the mother of two in the pre-recorded clip that she was “tired,” but only because, metaphorically speaking, she had to “take the trail up that mountain before you got there so I could look at the terrain and see what things look like and just get a feel for it so I can inform you.” “It’s funny because people seem to want to scare us about what it might look like when we get there,” Bullock expressed. “It turns out it’s pretty damn awesome. It’s pretty fantastic.”

“Happy birthday, dear friend,” Bullock said in her loving message, a little emotion coming through as she spoke of her dear friend and all she does every day at work to change her shape. “Thank you for being so incredible to so many people.”

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Bullock also noted how Kotb “shows kindness even when it’s not being given to you” and how she generally “goes out to the people you care about and keeps them safe – and just how she is as a human being.”

“Thank you for allowing me to be part of your circle. I am very grateful.”

A teary-eyed Kotb then explained to the live audience that Bullock was one of the women who inspired her when she was considering adoption. Hoda, a breast cancer survivor who was unable to conceive due to treatment, had called her to ask if she could have children at her age, as Bullock did not become a mother through adoption until she was in her late 40s and Kotb now has two little girls, Haley Joy and Hope Catherine, whom she adopted in 2017 and 2019.

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Bullock is the mother of sons Louis (14) and Laila (11) as well as older daughter Skyler (30) from her late love’s previous marriage.

Surviving the loss of a partner

Losing a loved one is one of the deepest pains a person can experience. In some cases, a spouse battling cancer or another potentially fatal illness can be proactive in talking about what might come afterward.

John Duberstein, who lost his wife, writer Nina Riggs, to metastatic triple-negative breast cancer, told SurvivorNet that as he watched her suffer from the disease, he couldn’t help but wish everything would go back to normal—but Riggs had already accepted her new normal.

RELATED: The most difficult conversations: Losing your spouse to cancer

“I really wanted everything to go back to normal, whatever that meant,” Duberstein said. “She wasn’t for it. She wanted to continue her life the way she had it, even before she knew she was about to die. I didn’t want to talk about what would happen to me after Nina died. Nina was the one who really brought up the subject, she brought it up several times.”

“Therapy saved my life”: Don’t be afraid to ask for help after losing a loved one

Duberstein explained that despite the pain of losing his wife and not wanting to talk about it at the time, he is so glad they had those seemingly uncomfortable conversations. “Looking back, I can’t even express how glad I am that I had that.”

This is to remind you that these uncomfortable and painful conversations with your partner can be fundamental to your well-being as you move forward in the grieving process and to easing the guilt you feel about starting to date again and/or eventually getting married.

Finding joy every day

To clear your mind and avoid negative feelings during difficult times, oncologist Dr. Dana Chase recommends writing down ten things that make you happy and making time for those things throughout the day. In Amanda Kloots’ case, dancing helped her feel better and deal with the grief she was dealing with.

“Sometimes I talk to a patient about making a list of the ten things that bring them the most joy. And trying to do those ten things so that at least 50 percent of their experiences throughout the day are positive,” Dr. Chase previously told SurvivorNet.

Dr. Dana Chase explains why attitude is so important in difficult times

Even if you work hard to maintain your mental health through activities you enjoy, it can still be quite overwhelming to think about things you can’t control after the loss of a loved one.

Dr. William Breitbart, director of the Department of Psychology and Behavioral Sciences at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, says acceptance is an important part of life.

“The challenge is to have the courage to live in uncertainty and to recognize that you cannot necessarily control the uncertainty of life, the suffering, the limitations and the challenges that come with it – both the good and the bad,” said Dr. Breitbart.

Learn more about SurvivorNet’s rigorous medical review process.