My son Michael was 5 years old when he played his first season of organized youth soccer. By “playing,” I mean he was fully involved in practice on weekdays, but on Saturday game day, the situation was completely different.
During the game, Michael was terrified to step onto the field with his teammates. He stood rooted to the sidelines, not wanting to join in the loud commotion of a chaotic competition. I stood with him on the sidelines and did my best to be a patient and understanding father. I often tried to lead him onto the field and persuade him to join in. He would not budge. Michael and I talked on the drive home after each failed attempt to persuade him to play. He said that some of the things that scared him were the fear of failing in front of others and the fear of losing.
As I look back on my own life as a Catholic, I think of Michael’s youthful trepidation.
As a grown man, I recognize the numerous times I have not been willing to step off the sidelines and fully participate as our Lord calls us at our baptism. Like my young son who allowed himself to attend soccer practice, I attend Sunday Mass. There I find comfort, intimacy, and community. Participation in the sacrifice of the Mass is vital and uplifting. I have striven to live a Christ-centered life of charity and good works, yet when the big moments came when God called us to share His good news, to go out and disciple others, I was hesitant to step onto the field.
It is the mission of the church and of every Christian to share the gospel and make disciples of others. Michael said he was afraid of failure and losing in football. I look at myself and think I have similar fears when faced with the call to evangelize. Will I say the right things in the right way? Will I represent my faith in God effectively and lovingly? Will I face harsh judgment or rejection? Am I, like Michael on the football field, afraid of losing?
Just as I stood patiently on the sidelines with my son, our Lord stood patiently with me. He led me out into the field to share His Word, and He persuaded me to follow my calling to make disciples.
After a period of hesitation and fear, I now feel confident, trusting, and undoubtedly committed to accepting the mission He has called me to. I have gained greater clarity and understanding that we are the hands and feet of Jesus. I look forward to sharing with you here how God has moved me to follow His call. In addition to my ongoing prayers and the love and support of my wife, Megan, I consult trusted leaders and mentors who will help me navigate the path ahead. It is the path God has always intended for me. I feel great zeal and purpose wherever He leads me.
An update on Michael’s refusal to play in soccer games when he was 5: He is now 8 and is an absolute ball of energy on game days! His energy, passion and desire on the field now takes my breath away when I watch him. I am truly glad I was patient with him. I am deeply grateful that our Lord is patient with me. I follow His words in John 14:27: “Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
Let us walk together fearlessly, my friends.
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