by Shannon Pickett, Purdue University
The transition from summer vacation to the start of school can be difficult for children and their families. In addition to adjusting to new routines, the transition also requires dealing with a mix of emotions. While some children are excited about new teachers and classmates, others may feel fear, sadness, or uncertainty about the upcoming school year.
In my 15 years of experience as a counselor for school-age children, I know how common these stresses can be. I have three school-age children of my own. Here are five strategies to help make the transition smoother. I not only share these strategies with the families I counsel, but I also use them in my home.
1. Listen to your child
Listen to your child’s concerns about this transition and be sensitive to their feelings. Some children are good at communicating and talking about their feelings, but others may need to be specifically asked how they feel about the transition back to school. It helps to reassure them that most students, even teachers, have some of the same feelings. Help your child understand that it’s OK to have mixed feelings; it’s possible to be excited, nervous, and sad all at the same time. Research has shown the importance of listening to children, even at a young age, because they are the experts on their own lives.
2. Discuss the new routine
Talk about what the new routine will look like for the whole family. With extracurricular activities and changing work schedules, it might look a little different every day. Talking about the new routine will remind children what the day will look like and set expectations accordingly.
This takes some of the uncertainty out of the equation, which can be reassuring during a transition period. Research has shown how important stability is to children’s learning and academic success.
3. Plan ahead
Planning ahead logistically will help your child mentally prepare for this transition. For example, if your child is in a new school environment, attend an open house or schedule a tour. Even if the classroom is not accessible to your child, they will feel more comfortable if they can enter the building.
Talk to your child to make sure they have all of their summer reading and assignments ready so they are well prepared for class. If additional academic support would be helpful, arrange tutoring.
To ensure the first day goes smoothly, pick out outfits and pack backpacks the night before. This will facilitate a smooth morning so everyone can start the day on a positive note. When children start the day feeling stressed and overwhelmed, it can be difficult for them to shake off that feeling. Research has shown that anxiety in adolescents can lead to longer awake times and poorer sleep.
4. Build trust
Give your child confidence to help them feel empowered and develop positive self-esteem. Make sure you speak positively to your child and highlight their strengths. This will help children approach the new school year with more confidence. Research has shown that students who use positive self-talk perform better academically. When you teach children positive self-talk, they develop the mindset that they can overcome challenges from a young age.
Giving your child the freedom to make choices about their self-image – for example, the clothes they wear and their hairstyle – will also help them feel empowered and increase their self-esteem. High self-esteem is directly related to future success in life, whether it be in their relationships, career or general life.
Taking a step back as a parent can be difficult, but it’s a natural part of raising children. I remember how hard it was for me when my oldest daughter didn’t want help with her hair and wanted to do everything herself. It was difficult not to intervene, but I could see how proud she was of herself for handling this task on her own.
5. Seek support if needed
Changes take time to settle in. If your child is still having trouble adjusting after three to four weeks, it may be helpful to consider additional support for your child. This could be the school counselor, guidance counselor, or an individual therapist.
From my own clinical experience, I often see a significant increase in referrals of children needing help in October. That’s because after the chaos of starting school, October is usually a good time to assess how your child is doing. If you want to seek outside counseling for your child, the school counselor can provide you with a list of local resources. You can also use websites like Psychology Today and search by zip code for local therapists in your area.
Shannon Pickett, professor of psychology and licensed mental health counselor, Purdue University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
