DEAR MISS MANNERS: For many years, my dear sister has had the habit of leaving her wet clothes in the washing machine for a long time before putting them in the dryer. This results in a constant smell of mildew on all her textiles.
When we visit her, we always notice the smell of the towels and bed linen. It never used to be a big problem, but now her son is getting older and sweats quite a lot. Thanks to what you might call the “wet dog effect,” he always smells of moldy clothes.
How can I convince her to change her washing habits for his (and her) sake without hurting anyone’s feelings?
DEAR READER: Criticizing another person’s laundry technique is not strictly speaking good etiquette, but Miss Manners welcomes the occasional challenge.
When you talk about what “we” (not “I”) noticed and call her your dear sister, you are only alerting your siblings that something is going on.
But relating the topic to your son is a good start. And the most important thing is not to hurt anyone’s feelings.
A light-hearted story about how you have the same problem and found a solution – for your own child (if you have one) or a friend’s (if not) – will further dispel any underlying criticism. Of course, none of this will help if you’ve been bringing up the subject for years to no avail.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners via her website, www.missmanners.com; to your email, [email protected]; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
