Before I vote in November, I need to know a few things. For example, I need to know more about boat batteries and sharks and their relationship.
I need to know more about Hannibal Lecter and his dinner plans. I need to know what happened to the check from Mexico for the 52-mile fence that was built. I also need to know why several hundred feet of the billion-dollar fence collapsed in a 25-mph storm.
I also want to know why the fence wasn’t built the remaining 1,900 miles. I also want to know why border guards allow Mexicans living on the border to use the fence as an exercise machine. Why are they allowed to climb the fence, sit on it, and wave at border guards? I want to know why North Korea still has a nuclear program. I want to know what happened to the promised best health care system ever. I want to know where all the clean coal is that was promised.
I need to know how to steal money from a children’s welfare fund in New York state.
I need to know how to set up a fake university and swindle thousands of hopeful young people out of their money. I need to know how, if I ever build a casino, I will go bankrupt and put all the people who put their trust in me out of work, and then I need to know how to swindle them out of their last paycheck.
I need to know how to fake bone spurs so I never have to serve in the military. I need to know how to find the book of Two Corinthians in the Bible.
I need to know how we can bring back cement and how we can protect ourselves from cancer from far-away windmills.
I need to know how the revolutionary army took over all the airports in 1783 and drove the British out of our country.
This is just a short list of things I need to know before Election Day. Once all of these questions are answered, I’ll probably have more. If anyone reading this has questions, please add them in your comments.
Jack Lader, Herriman
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