DEAR DEIDRE: Seeing my first love again 45 years after we separated was like a bolt from the blue. All my feelings for him came flooding back.
He is my brother’s best friend and when we were young I thought we would spend our whole lives together.
But then he joined the army and was transferred abroad. At some point we grew apart.
We both met other people and got married, but my marriage was not a happy one. My brother was 65 when he died last year and I had to go to his friend’s house to tell him the news. He invited me and I met his wife.
He is 66 and when I saw him again, so many beautiful memories came back.
I am now a 62 year old woman and am plagued by thoughts that I should never have let him go. Should I tell him I wish I had stayed with him longer? Should I call again?
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DEIDRE SAYS: No. He is not single and you are also married, although you say that your relationship is not happy.
You’ve both changed a lot since you were together at 17. You’re not the same people you once were, although he may have traits of the young man he once was.
Instead, talk to a counselor about everything to clarify your feelings and decide what you will do about your situation at home.
My support package entitled “How to Maintain Your Relationship” contains lots of further advice and shows you where to find help.
