Dear American Jewish Parents,
Let’s face it: Worrying about our children is simply part of our collective DNA. It’s an integral part of who we are. But since October 7, that fear has reached new levels.
For centuries, blacksmiths have forged metal to make things that were stronger and more durable. The process is deliberate, uncomfortable, and very effective. Humans have also been subjected to their own “forging process” – through wars, famines, and pandemics. Our children today are being forged by rampant Jew-hatred.
The question that every Jewish parent in America must ask today is not, “Where can we go to protect our children?” The question is, “How do we ensure that our children can stand up to their own machinations?” This is our sobering reality.
As much as current events upset us, it is still the best time to be Jewish. Raise your hand if you would rather be Jewish in 1920. 1800s? 1500s? 11th century? Exactly. Not only do we have a Jewish state and a Jewish army, but Jews in the diaspora have every right. We are fully integrated into the societies we live in and have freedoms that even our grandparents could not have dreamed of.
But I digress – let’s get back to our frightening reality.
Recently, a Jewish mother expressed her disbelief that her daughter’s school refused to take action because her teacher wore a keffiyeh while teaching – a “symbol of resistance” for pro-Hamas mobs since October 7.
Her daughter had the courage to bring the matter to the attention of the school administration. Instead of taking action against the teacher, they gave the Jewish student advice on how to “deal with her feelings.” Imagine if a school gave an African-American student advice on how to “deal with her feelings” after seeing a teacher with a KKK tattoo.
Rutgers University’s freshman orientation was disrupted last week by jihadists and criminals shouting and handing out leaflets. And it’s not just in higher education. Children throughout the U.S. education system – even as young as preschool – are exposed to anti-Jewish rhetoric. Equally disturbing is that Jewish individuals are being targeted as well as Jewish institutions. The proverbial poop is hitting a very real fan, and no one is spared.
With school starting again in just a few weeks, it’s understandable that we’re all nervous.
But my experience as a Jewish mother of a 10-year-old and a 27-year-old, and as a Jewish professional who has worked with teenagers for the past decade, has taught me that there is another side to this coin. By teaching children empowerment—by allowing them to speak up and have a voice—and by teaching them community leadership—by making it clear to them that we are working to develop the leaders of our Jewish community—students are more likely to feel confident about who they are, where they belong, and how they should behave.
We must stop putting the ridiculous expectation on our teenagers to “raise their voices and stand up for Israel” without first inspiring them to raise their voices and stand up for themselves. We must teach them how to expect and demand respect from authority figures – as Jews!
We ask for nothing more and we will accept nothing less. Only when our children see themselves as Jews, as shapers of Jewish history, as future matriarchs and patriarchs of their own Jewish families, only then will they understand the honor, privilege and blessing of this day and age.
This is our mission and yours. Just as metal is forged through a process of stress, pressure and heat to become even stronger, Jewish teenagers are tested every day. I believe that the pressures our children face have the potential to transform them into adults with vision, courage and confidence. Into leaders who will create a hopeful and resilient future for all of us.
As part of my ongoing passion for Zionism and Israel, I speak to Jewish students who are taking the time to learn and acquire the skills necessary to face this reality. And with confidence and from this direct experience, I can tell you: They are not afraid. Quite the opposite. Looking at these children, it is clear that we are stronger than we have been in 2,000 years. How? Because they are confident, proud of their Jewish identity, sure of their place in Jewish history, and strengthened by their connection to one another.
One teenager, looking forward to his first year at an elite university, told the group, “We are not in this fight. We are fighting because we have found ourselves.”
And indeed, our children are no longer deer in the headlights in the face of this fight. They are standing up and taking action:
A high school student in New York recently discovered numerous inaccuracies and anti-Israel bias in the Princeton Review’s AP World History Prep book. She wrote a letter to the organization detailing and refuting each false claim: “The Princeton Review should hold itself to the highest standards of accuracy. It is deeply disturbing that millions of students have been exposed to this distorted material. I look forward to your response so that these inaccuracies are corrected for the next edition.” (She has not yet received a response.)
Another group of youth recently spoke to a school-wide staff meeting of 200 people about the anti-Semitism they and other Jewish students have experienced for years, and especially since October 7. Although they were about to graduate from high school, they wanted to speak for those students who still don’t have a voice and lay the groundwork for change. They explained, “We are here to make sure that we make (this school) a safer and better environment for other Jewish students.”
Jewish children who received a deep, uncompromising and nuanced education about Israel and advocacy continue to be influential and engaged on college campuses today, such as the remarkable UNC-Chapel Hill students who joined forces to prevent the U.S. flag from being removed by pro-Hamas protesters.
Where do these Jewish students get the strength to do such things? It’s a combination of their education, a strengthened sense of identity, and one of the most important factors – which means everything to me as a mother, and I’m sure it means everything to you – YOU ARE NOT ALONE. NEVER ALONE.
These youth have shown that adversity can empower them and give them the opportunity to build an identity. It gives them the unique perspective of experiencing Jewish history while standing on the shoulders of giants who came before them.
Dear Jewish parents, I understand that these are unprecedented times. But take a breath. Look at our history. And then look at your children. Are they prepared? Do they know who they are and what people they belong to? If you are unsure, here is your call to action.
Make Israel and Jewishness part of your everyday life. Don’t assume that your Hebrew school, your Jewish high school, or your Jewish summer camp can do that. Of course, all institutions try their best. But you can’t outsource identity formation to someone else. That’s up to you. And once you know you’ve raised a strong Jew, you can be sure that he or she will rise to the challenge and win, just as our ancestors have done for thousands of years.
If we give them the tools they need and the inspiration they crave, and if we stand by them in every situation, they can become the greatest generation we will see in our lifetime.
Our children will be fine. No. Better than fine. If we give them the tools they need and the inspiration they crave, if we back them up in every situation, they can become the greatest generation we will see in our lifetime.
Masha Merkulova is the Zionist leader of Club Z, a proud Jewish Zionist space where young people can socialize and learn about Jewish history and Zionism.
