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Three ways to build self-confidence in life and at work

Three ways to build self-confidence in life and at work

Free throws.

Two decades ago, when I was a high school basketball coach in North Kitsap, one of my mentors explained to me that at every level of the game, three critical statistics determine victory or defeat: turnovers, rebounds and made free throws.

Al Gleich was my athletic director, but before that he was a long-time, successful coach who had won a state championship with Olympic High School two decades earlier. Al was a wealth of knowledge.

While this advice was and is spot on, implementing these categories is more difficult. It requires skill, practice and a fair amount of self-confidence.

In the final of the Paris Olympics, the U.S. women’s basketball team secured its 8th consecutive gold medal (and improbable 61st consecutive victory) with perfect free throws down the stretch. The razor-thin one-point lead could easily have been lost had it not been for ice-cold free throws from A’ja Wilson, Kelsey Plum and Kahleah Copper.

Notably, Plum went 4-4 in the final minute and Copper hit the final two free throws, which provided just enough of a cushion as Gabby Williams of France sank the basket with the final buzzer, her toe dangling just above the three-point line.

As Al Gleich’s wise advice showed many years ago, free throws made the difference between a gold and a silver medal.

The person who fascinated me most, however, was University of Washington graduate Kelsey Plum.

Most players approach the free throw line with little expression. They’re attempting the only shot in the game that’s guaranteed to be the same every time. Plum has a different expression… a big smile that says, “Give me the damn ball, because I’m making these shots.”

In all my years of playing, watching and coaching basketball, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so happy to make the winning shots. While I fully believe the other players have confidence in their free throws, Plum’s nearly 90 percent accuracy comes from an almost giddy sense of mastery.

She wants the ball in that moment, to the point of joy. In her head, she already knew she had made the shots. She was ready to do great things.

I’m assuming that none of you reading this need to win gold medals shooting free throws at the Olympics, but each of us has similar activities in our careers.

We all have these factors that determine whether we win or lose in our own “games.” For us, the three factors that influence our success are: Process. Practice. Confidence.

Proceedings: As I mentioned, the free throw is the only shot in a basketball game that is guaranteed to be the same every time. It’s the same distance and there’s no defender. Just you and the ball. The only differences are external – the crowd, the moment, the scars of failure. The best shooters block these out through their process. They do the same thing every time.

What is there in our world that requires a process?

Are we preparing for a business meeting? Are we getting our business or facility ready for the day? Maybe it’s making sure operations are safe for all employees and customers. Maybe it’s as simple as doing a mental exercise or meditation to prepare for the day.

Process is a crucial component in many facets of life. The problem is that we as humans become careless over time and often forget that it is the process that eliminates the external problems and increases the chances of success in that moment.

Practice: I have no idea how many free throws Kelsey Plum makes every day for practice. I would guess it’s hundreds. The same goes for professional golfers with their putts or kickers in the NFL with their field goals.

Like the process, practice can get left behind over time. We fool ourselves into thinking we’ve become “experts” and don’t need to practice as much. We would never tell ourselves that, but that’s exactly what happens. I think we’ve all been guilty of this at some point.

The most successful people in business and personal life overcome this and quickly return to “practice mode.” This may mean honing their public speaking skills, avidly reading and researching information about their industry and career, and taking courses not just because they will give them professional recognition, but to improve their skills.

While some exercises are routine, many are simply about improving yourself. It’s about having a mindset about professional and personal growth and investing time and resources in that growth.

Trust: Confidence is a reflection of preparation and strength. We are not born with confidence. While we receive support and encouragement from others, ultimately confidence comes from the hard work we put into preparation and practice.

Do we practice them until we have absolute confidence? Do we want the ball when it matters most? Are we ready to make the big shots with a smile on our face?

You know what factors are crucial in business and in your personal life. Have you, through your preparation and practice, reached a position where you smile at every opportunity and ooze confidence?

Whether they are Olympic champions, business champions or life champions, we can all learn something from Kelsey Plum and her teammates.

And that means moving forward boldly with the confidence gained through preparation, practice, experience, failures and successes and proclaiming…

“Give me the damn ball because I’m going to do it!”

Dan Weedin is a strategist, speaker, author, and leadership coach and a regular contributor to the Kitsap Sun. He helps small and medium-sized businesses and entrepreneurs grow more profitably and build better lives. He was inducted into the Million Dollar Consultant™ Hall of Fame in 2012. Reach Dan at 360-271-1592, via email at [email protected], or visit his website at www.DanWeedin.com.

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