For some, election days like the Vermont primary on Aug. 13 are exciting times for Democratic participation. But there can also be an underlying tension with politicians, especially if your views differ greatly.
The national organization Braver Angels works to teach people how to have honest, open conversations and build connections across party lines. Lincoln Earle Centers von Montpelier, Vermont’s state coordinator of the Braver Angels, Shanna Ratner of Fairfield, the blue co-chair of Braver Angels Franklin County and Daniel Pipesthe red co-chair of the chapter, shared what they have learned through their work.
Vermont Public’s news editor-in-chief, Brittany Pattersonand then provided an update on Citizens Agenda, the election reporting model that Vermont Public introduced this year.
Here are five tips we selected from the conversation.
Set the table
If you want to have a productive conversation with someone whose views differ from yours, don’t start the conversation right away; instead, set the table first.
Shanna Ratner suggests phrasing it like this: “I’d be very interested in understanding your point of view better. Here’s my point of view, and I suspect yours is different. Would it be OK if I asked you some questions?”
When you use this language, you make the person you’re talking to feel like you respect them. You also give them the option to say no. “They’re not forced to do it,” Ratner said. “And they might say, ‘You know, not right now, but I’d like to do that another time. Let’s try next Wednesday.'”
Identify blind spots
Through his time at Better Angels, Dan Pipes has come to understand that some language that seems reasonable to one person can be hurtful to another. “People tend to shut down when they’re attacking or feeling attacked,” he noted, which can end a conversation before it gets going.
Instead of closing yourself off, Pipes advised addressing the use of difficult language or other blind spots directly and with genuine curiosity. He suggested this phrase: “Hey, I don’t see that. Can you explain to me from your experience how that term evolved and what it means to you? Because I just don’t see it.”
Try the eavesdropping experiment
To create an atmosphere of mutual respect and trust, it can be helpful to learn how to talk about “the other side” in a non-polarizing way. Lincoln Earle-Centers suggests trying the eavesdropping experiment he learned in a Braver Angels workshop. Ask yourself, “How would a reasonable and well-meaning member of the other group feel listening to you describe their side? Respected or disrespected? Understood or grossly misrepresented?”
It can be a difficult skill to learn. Earle-Centers has found that our culture often encourages disagreement and strong, reactive feelings (just watch any reality show). “It’s really important that we put the brakes on and realize that we can respect someone and understand where they’re coming from, and at the same time disagree — strongly disagree — or be upset about it.”
Watch others when they cross political boundaries
Kevin Trevellyan, Elodie Reed
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Vermont Public Administration
What better way to learn than by example?
One of the most controversial topics in today’s news is the war between Israel and Hamas. The conflict is very personal for many people, including in Vermont, but they find it difficult to talk about.
Recently, the Vermont Public Mitch Wertleib spoke to two women with ties to Vermont and personal connections to the war – one Palestinian, one Jewish. They opened up to each other and shared how the conflict has affected them personally. Listen here.
Take part in a small step
In partnership with StoryCorps and other community organizations across Vermont, we invite you to meet a new person – a fellow citizen with different political views than you, who you might never otherwise speak to – for a meaningful 50-minute conversation. Vermont Public is one of only seven stations nationwide selected to host One Small Step in 2024. With participants’ permission, these conversations will be preserved for future generations at the Library of Congress’s American Folklife Center.
Would you like to get your group or organization involved? Contact Karen Anderson for more details. More information can be found here.
Live broadcast on Tuesday, August 13, 2024, 12:00 p.m.; repeat at 7:00 p.m.
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