There are a number of things that can turn us off when it comes to getting dirty.
From bad breath and dirty sheets to embarrassing dirty talk and Away too little foreplay – of course, a lot can go wrong in bed.
But there is apparently one extremely “toxic” habit that many people are guilty of, and which one sex expert warned is an “instant turn-off in the bedroom.”
You may be guilty of this “toxic” bedroom habit. (The Good Brigade / Getty Images)
Nadia Bodoky, a sexpert from Down Under, has revealed that many people tend to go into a “mode” in intimate moments that, for lack of a better word, is a in total Mood killer.
Nadia has not been spared from this toxic trait either, as she even caught herself doing it on a romantic outing with her girlfriend.
During the trip, the expert asked questions about her friend’s ex-partner – which is apparently an absolute no-go.
It seems to be quite common to compare oneself to one’s current lover’s former flame and their sex life, which Nadia calls “sexual comparison mode,” or SCM for short.
The expert coined the term “Sexual Comparison Mode” or SCM for short. (filadendron / Getty Images)
“I fell into sexual comparison mode (SCM), a harmful practice most of us are guilty of, where we compare ourselves to our partner’s previous sexual partner,” she explained in an article for news.com.au.
“It’s rooted in insecurity and an innate, if narcissistic, need to know that we’re the best – that as far as lovers go, we’re the best our sweetheart has ever had.”
According to a survey conducted by Elite Singles, around 30 percent of women and 21 percent of men compare their current partner’s performance in the bedroom with that of an ex.
Nadia warned: “Still, there are few things that will destroy your relationship (and therefore your sex life) more than indulging in SCM.”
An open and honest conversation is probably better than comparing yourself to your partner’s ex-girlfriends in bed. (PeopleImages / Getty Images)
The expert also turned to sex therapist Christopher Brett-Renes, who warned against a phase in which one compares oneself with one’s partner’s previous affairs.
“Going into comparison mode will not turn on your sexual partner,” he explained. “If anything, it will turn them off or cause an argument.”
Christopher also noted that asking your partner how his ex was in bed could be harmful.
If you find yourself feeling a little insecure, it’s probably best to have an honest conversation between you and your partner and try to work through those unwanted feelings – rather than going straight for the throat and causing a rift not only in the bedroom, but in your relationship as a whole.
